PRE-OP ANXIETY

Todd Willever ready for surgery at UCLA

It's been a minute since I've been able to post anything, but in my defense, I have a really good reason.

On October 29th, my husband Todd underwent a craniotomy for his GBM (Glioblastoma) with the renowned, incredible, compassionate, and brilliant Dr. Linda Liau at UCLA. Yes, we are huge fans of Dr. Liau and her outstanding team. I would be remiss if I didn't also mention that Dr. Robert Chong has also been amazing.

So here's a Pre-Op post...

PERFECT TIMING. SHEER TERROR.

The day before surgery, our daughter, Jessica, arrived from NJ. Her timing was perfect as we were about to face a truly difficult day. Todd was extremely anxious and for the first time since this journey started on May 4, 2022, we could not calm him down. The meditations, visualizations, positivity that we had learned since his initial diagnosis were no match for this level of fear.

A few people have asked why there was so much anxiety this time, as opposed to the first brain surgery, especially given that Dr. Liau was performing it. The answer is simple. The first time we were blindsided and he went from sitting at his desk at Fire Headquarters to ICU 3 hours later and then off to surgery two days later. Overwhelmed, shocked, and too blown away to reach this level of anxiety that time.

This time, we knew there was a probable occurrence in August. Waiting for confirmation, waiting to see if he was eligible for DCVAX-L, leaving our family and friends to drive 3,000 miles and move into an apartment in Los Angeles, all to have brain surgery. If this was a vacation, we would fire our travel agent. But this is no vacation. It's a journey to save Todd's life and even though this was expected, you can never really mentally prepare for something of this magnitude.

DCVAX-L, Dr. Liau, UCLA... these were all things that we kept in our back pocket, for when a recurrence happened. It was basically the only reason my family was able to sleep at night. But the night before surgery, Todd wasn't sure if he would survive surgery. He wasn't sure if DCVAX-L would work on him.

Bottom line, he was suffering from the worst condition for humanity to face: uncertainty.

DAD AND DAUGHTER: TODD & JESSICA WILLEVER